Beautiful Mutterings
by Horsey Spike
Summary: Spike listens to a beautiful mutterer. Spoilers for 'Redefinition'. Semi-Slashy


Title: Beautiful Mutterings (1/1)  
  
Author: Horsey Spike  
  
E-mail: HorseySpike@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me. Joss and Co. owns them. Blah, blah, and blah.   
  
Distribution: SpikeNAngelFic archive and anyone else I've given permission to. All else, ask.  
  
Spoilers: For the Angel episode 'Redefinition', the surrounding actions of the other episodes  
  
Summary: Spike witness a beautiful mutterer.  
  
Author's Notes: Spontanous, thought of the idea in the shower story. And everyone thought I was done with those. Piffle.  
  
-------  
  
He's beautiful.   
  
But, you know that. You've watched him. You've seen him move, fight, act, walk, speak, all those things I've had lifetimes to observe and learn.   
  
And I still don't know them all.  
  
That's what makes him beautiful. Sure, he's got the looks, lots of people on this earth do. But they're not beautiful.   
  
No, he's beautiful because he keeps changing. I don't know him to be the same as I did 100 years ago, but he's so different from two, three years ago, I hardly recognize the vamp.   
  
But, let me start at the begining, to when I noticed these changes. When I came to LA.  
-----  
It was about a week ago. I heard some rumors from Willy's about some vamp thing going down in LA. I automaticly assumed Angel was causing some trouble, but with the more I learned, the more I was intimatly involved.  
  
With my grand-sire being taken out of the afterlife by a law firm, on the purpose of driving Angel insane, or evil, or whatever the lawyers thought would happen, I worried. Unnaturally. Angel would persevere. He's strong like that.  
  
But I wondered what shape these twentith-century lawyers would leave him in. He isn't prepared to deal with that kind of people. Especially the cut-throats I know them to be.  
  
So, I planned a trip to see him. Only, things had drastically changed by the time I got there.   
  
It wasn't only Darla there, but Drusilla was back as well.   
  
I stayed far away from the action of that day, when Drusilla changed Darla back into a vampire. I listened and learned, not unheard of me to do, and I realized what state this left him in.  
  
I watched and was there as he left the house he left those two in, condemming the lawyers to death. I knew there that he was not the same.   
  
I didn't know this man, this vampire anymore than I knew the every street address in every city on this side of the Atlantic Ocean.  
  
I will admit that it scared me a bit. I didn't know what to make of it. Why? and How? circulated my mind.   
  
But it all boiled down to one thing. The lawyers were working. He was gradually losing control of his demon, he was listening to what it was saying in him. The man, the soul in him was listening to the evil, and it was submitting.   
  
It was wrenching to me to witness this.  
  
And I still kept silent. I don't know what my presense would have done on his state of mind. I didn't want to find out.   
-----  
He decided to take it upon himself to train for fighting Darla and Drusilla. I was ready to make a move, to stop him from killing the love of my life.  
  
But, I waited, I watched.   
  
He trained hard, continously. It was a strict routine he had going, and I was afraid to break it. Funny. I was afraid around this man now, more than I have been in the last nine decades of my life.   
  
But his training wasn't what was bothering me.  
  
It was the mutterings he was making.  
  
Mainly, he was arguing with himself, or more actually, his soul and demon were arguing.   
  
I heard point, and counterpoint. Good and evil. Darkness verses light. Demons verses the Slayer.   
  
Buffy's name came up more than once. It seemed the soul didn't want to lose control because of her. It didn't want her to get hurt.   
  
How sweet. Sickeningly sweet.  
-------  
He's still beautiful. Stunning, really. I can never get over it. He's the one for me. Dru was a pale substitute of him. I'll admit it. It won't be the first time I was wrong about something.  
  
It won't be the last.  
  
Maybe I'm wrong here. Maybe he isn't going crazy. Maybe I should sit in here, and see what is really going on in his mind.  
  
But, I sit here, still and silent, watching as he trains to go fight the two beauties.   
  
He's changing, I'm learning about him all the time. He isn't the same as he was in Sunnydale. He isn't the same as he was in Europe.   
  
He isn't the same as he will be when he comes home from the fight.  
  
I'm scared for him. I want to be there for him. I want to support him.   
  
But, my decision is made already. And I'll stay here, too chicken to see the fight, not really knowing which side I'm rooting for, not knowing if I want to see either of them hurt.  
  
So, I'll watch him in his beautiful mutterings. And wait for my sire to one day come back to me.  
  
END. 


End file.
